Whether it's on the playground, during extracurriculars, on TV, or at home, femmephobic messages saturate the lives of children and parents.
A Powerful Question
Author and poet Alok Vaid-Menon (2017) asks us to consider,
"What feminine part of yourself did you have to destroy in order to survive in this world?"
Activity: Reflect on Your Experience
Activity: What Did You Have to Destroy?
What part of your child's feminine self have they had to minimize, suppress, or destroy in order to fit in, be accepted, or be seen as "equal" — with peers, at home, or in society?
- What feminine traits or interests were discouraged?
- What did your child learn about what was "acceptable" for their gender?
- How did these experiences shape who they are today?
- What about you — what feminine parts of yourself did you have to let go of?
Share Your Reflection
What Others Have Shared
Now that we've explored how femmephobia shows up across contexts — in sports, media, and families — let's look at something hopeful: the benefits of femininity and what happens when we embrace it rather than reject it.
© We Are Family, 2026