We Are Family
  • Parenting Workbook

Search

Parenting Workbook Home

Introduction

Welcome & How to Use the Workbook

Hopes & Dreams

Congratulations, It's a...

Girl Toys vs. Boy Toys

Socializing Agents

Binary Thinking

Time Out for Terminology

Locating Ourselves

Let's Play A Game

Let's Play Dress Up

Gender Binary vs. Gender Tapestry

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 1)

Femmephobia

Looking Closer at Toxic Masculinity

Let's Think About Femininity

Feminine Stereotypes

Locating Our Beliefs

Situating Our Beliefs

Rules About Femininity

Femmephobia on the Playground

Tomboys, Girly Girls..

I'm Not Like Other Girls

Killing Barbie

Femmephobia & Sports

Femmephobia in the Media

Femmephobia in the Family

What Feminine Part of Yourself...

Benefits of Femininity?

When Blue is Neutral

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 2)

Femme-Conscious Parenting

When Femininity Feels Impractical

The Hidden Message

Practicing Femme-Conscious Parenting

Stopping Femmephobia

Imagining Femme-Positive Futures

Evaluation Survey

Glossary

What Feminine Part of Yourself Did You Have to Destroy?
🌍

What Feminine Part of Yourself Did You Have to Destroy?

Content
Glossary

← BACK

NEXT →

‣
Quick Links
🌍

Whether it's on the playground, during extracurriculars, on TV, or at home, femmephobic messages saturate the lives of children and parents.

A Powerful Question

Author and poet Alok Vaid-Menon (2017) asks us to consider,

"What feminine part of yourself did you have to destroy in order to survive in this world?"

Activity: Reflect on Your Experience

✏️

Activity: What Did You Have to Destroy?

What part of your child's feminine self have they had to minimize, suppress, or destroy in order to fit in, be accepted, or be seen as "equal" — with peers, at home, or in society?

  • What feminine traits or interests were discouraged?
  • What did your child learn about what was "acceptable" for their gender?
  • How did these experiences shape who they are today?
  • What about you — what feminine parts of yourself did you have to let go of?
image
‣

Share Your Reflection

‣

What Others Have Shared

➡️

Now that we've explored how femmephobia shows up across contexts — in sports, media, and families — let's look at something hopeful: the benefits of femininity and what happens when we embrace it rather than reject it.

← BACK

NEXT →

© We Are Family, 2026

‣
📚 Book Navigation
‣
Site Navigation
We Are Family

Parenting Program

Parenting Workbook

Resources