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Introduction

Welcome & How to Use the Workbook

Hopes & Dreams

Congratulations, It's a...

Girl Toys vs. Boy Toys

Socializing Agents

Binary Thinking

Time Out for Terminology

Locating Ourselves

Let's Play A Game

Let's Play Dress Up

Gender Binary vs. Gender Tapestry

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 1)

Femmephobia

Looking Closer at Toxic Masculinity

Let's Think About Femininity

Feminine Stereotypes

Locating Our Beliefs

Situating Our Beliefs

Rules About Femininity

Femmephobia on the Playground

Tomboys, Girly Girls..

I'm Not Like Other Girls

Killing Barbie

Femmephobia & Sports

Femmephobia in the Media

Femmephobia in the Family

What Feminine Part of Yourself...

Benefits of Femininity?

When Blue is Neutral

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 2)

Femme-Conscious Parenting

When Femininity Feels Impractical

The Hidden Message

Practicing Femme-Conscious Parenting

Stopping Femmephobia

Imagining Femme-Positive Futures

Evaluation Survey

Glossary

Looking Closer at Toxic Masculinity
๐Ÿชž

Looking Closer at Toxic Masculinity

Content
Glossary

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Quick Links
  • What Other People Think Is โ€œToxicโ€ About Masculinity
  • The Femmephobia Connection
๐Ÿชž

"Toxic masculinity" has been a bit of a buzzword in some social circlesโ€ฆ but what exactly is toxic about toxic masculinity? Let's look closer.

What Other People Think Is โ€œToxicโ€ About Masculinity

Word cloud with terms like "everything," "bravado," "violence," "aggression," "rape culture," "exclusion," "super straight," "insecurity," etc. in various sizes, teal/blue background
Word cloud with terms like "everything," "bravado," "violence," "aggression," "rape culture," "exclusion," "super straight," "insecurity," etc. in various sizes, teal/blue background
When asked what's "toxic" about masculinity, people offered words like: everything, bravado, violence, aggression, rape culture, exclusion, super straight, insecurity, homophobic, denial, angry, fragile, muscles, hatred of women, enforced, volatile, overbearing fragility, emotionless, control, mean, imposing stereotypes, repression, fear, lack of connection, disrespectful, hierarchy, ego, entitlement, shaming femininity, rage, lack of feeling, pressure, stoicism, power, rigidity, hide true self, dismiss feminine people, inconsiderateโ€ฆ

The Femmephobia Connection

๐Ÿ’ก

What's "toxic" about toxic masculinity is often its treatment of femininity! Notice how many of these words or phrases communicate beliefs about the (lesser) value of femininity? They actually point to doing the "opposite" of what is feminine.

There is a theme here of distancing oneself from femininity โ€” so far, in fact, that they are on another planet!

โžก๏ธ

If what's "toxic" about masculinity is really about how it treats femininity, then we need to turn our attention to femininity itself. What comes to mind when you think about femininity? Let's explore that next.

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ยฉย We Are Family, 2026

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๐Ÿ“š Book Navigation
โ€ฃ

๐Ÿ‘‹ Welcome

  • ๐Ÿ‘‹Introduction
  • ๐Ÿ‘‹Welcome & How to Use This Workbook
  • ๐ŸŒŸHopes & Dreams
โ€ฃ

๐ŸŽ€ Gender & Socialization

  • ๐ŸŽ€Congratulations, It's a...
  • ๐ŸŽ€Girl Toys vs. Boy Toys
  • ๐ŸŽ€Socializing Agents and the Gender Binary
  • ๐ŸŽ€Binary Thinking
  • ๐ŸŽ€Time Out for Terminology
  • ๐ŸŽ€Locating Ourselves
  • ๐ŸŽ€Let's Play a Game
  • ๐ŸŽ€Let's Play Dress Up
  • ๐ŸŽ€Gender Binary versus Gender Tapestry
  • ๐ŸŽ€Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 1)
โ€ฃ

๐Ÿ” Femmephobia 101

  • ๐Ÿ”Femmephobia
โ€ฃ

๐Ÿชž Reflecting on Femininity

  • ๐ŸชžLooking Closer at Toxic Masculinity
  • ๐ŸชžLet's Think About Femininity
  • ๐ŸชžFeminine Stereotypes
  • ๐ŸชžLocating Our Beliefs
  • ๐ŸชžSituating Our Beliefs
โ€ฃ

๐Ÿ’ญ Femininity Myths

  • ๐Ÿ’ญStories We're Told โ€” Rules About Femininity
  • ๐Ÿ’ญFemmephobia on the Playground
  • ๐Ÿ’ญTomboys, Girly Girls...
  • ๐Ÿ’ญI'm Not Like Other Girls
  • ๐Ÿ’ญKilling Barbie
โ€ฃ

๐ŸŒ Femmephobia Across Contexts

  • ๐ŸŒFemmephobia, Athleticism and Sports
  • ๐ŸŒFemmephobia in the Media
  • ๐ŸŒFemmephobia in the Family
  • ๐ŸŒWhat Feminine Part of Yourself Did You Have to Destroy?
โ€ฃ

๐ŸŒฑ Benefits & Gender-Neutral Parenting

  • ๐ŸŒฑBenefits of Femininity?
  • ๐ŸŒฑWhen Blue is Neutral But Pink is Not
  • ๐ŸŒฑGender Neutral Parenting (Part 2)
โ€ฃ

๐Ÿ’œ Femme-Conscious Parenting

  • ๐Ÿ’œFemme-Conscious Parenting
  • ๐Ÿ’œWhen Femininity Feels Impractical
  • ๐Ÿ’œThe Hidden Message
  • ๐Ÿ’œPracticing Femme-Conscious Parenting Every Day
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๐Ÿ›‘ย Stopping Femmephobia

  • ๐Ÿ›‘Stopping Femmephobia
โ€ฃ

๐ŸŒŸ Closing

  • ๐ŸŒŸImagining Femme-Positive Futures
  • ๐ŸŒŸPlease Complete Our Evaluation Survey
โ€ฃ

๐Ÿ“– Glossary ๐Ÿ“–

  • ๐Ÿ“–Glossary
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