Socialization is like training. Society has expectations of us as humans and we are trained from early in life to think and behave in certain ways.
Socializing Agents
We are socialized to live in the culture we are born into. There are many people, things, or groups that play a role in socialization. We call them "socializing agents" — and they are all around us, making sure we are on the "right" path!
These socializing agents work for the Gender Binary.
The Gender Binary
The Gender Binary
The idea that there is a "right" or a "wrong" way to be a boy or girl — or a man or woman — stems from the gender binary.
The gender binary says that babies with Y chromosomes are assigned male at birth, while babies with XX chromosomes are assigned female at birth. Based on these sexes assigned at birth, and armed with the process of gender socialization (and socialization agents!), the gender binary says that females must be socialized into women and males are socialized into men.
Gender Socialization and Heteronormativity
One of the main jobs of gender socialization is to make sure that girls and women learn how to be "properly feminine," while boys and men are "properly masculine."
On top of being feminine or masculine, another layer of this socialization process is what we call "heteronormativity." Here, properly masculine boys and feminine girls are assumed to be heterosexual. This is what gender socialization teaches us.
So, when we see feminine boys and masculine girls, we assume that they are gay or lesbian. People sometimes assume that feminine boys and masculine girls are transgender, but we'll get into that a bit more later.
Learn More
The video below discusses one simple way to help our children envision a future where they can choose the traits that they like best!
© We Are Family, 2026
