Let's face it, gender can never really be neutral.
Placing any limits on the scope of children's gender play, even in the name of going against the gender binary, is still limiting creativity and full self-expression.
Meet Nora the Gender Explorer
Meet Dora’s cousin, Nora the Gender Explorer. Nora loves exploring gender across the binary, and is an advocate for femme-conscious, gender-creative parenting where everyone can be creative, expressive, kind, and brave.
What is femme-consciousness?
This term refers to having an awareness of femmephobia and the capacity to actively challenge the devaluation and regulation of femininity (Hoskin & Serafini, 2023).
This is a great way to start challenging femmephobia in our families and communities!
Incorporating Femme-Conscious Parenting
Activity: Femme-Conscious Parenting in Practice
How can we incorporate femme-conscious parenting into our families and parenting circles? What are some specific ways that you could incorporate femme-consciousness into your parenting?
- What small changes could you make at home?
- How might you talk to your children about valuing femininity?
- What toys, activities, or media could you introduce or reframe?
It's a big step to think about how our parenting approaches might unintentionally put restrictions on our kids' comfort, joy, and individuality, and putting this into action can certainly be difficult — old habits and ways of thinking can be hard to change.
Taking this a step further, let's consider what is happening outside our own families.
Activity: Supporting Other Parents
How can we support other parents in noticing femmephobia and unlearning it?
- What conversations might you have with other parents, family members, or caregivers?
- How can you model femme-conscious parenting in your community?
Making these changes is not always easy.
Activity: Anticipating Challenges
What challenges to femme-conscious parenting do you imagine you will encounter?
- From family members or partners?
- From schools, coaches, or other parents?
- From your own ingrained habits or assumptions?
Activity: Finding Solutions
Now that you've identified some of the challenges, let's think about solutions!
- What are some possible ways to deal with those challenges?
- Are there things you've tried that have worked in the past?
- How can you use the content in this workbook to help you come up with solutions that may work for you and your family?
Femme-conscious parenting doesn't mean forcing femininity — it means making space for it alongside masculinity, so that every child can freely explore the full range of who they are. Next, let's tackle a common concern: what happens when femininity feels "impractical"?
© We Are Family, 2026