Well, history doesn't have to repeat itself. Let's not only imagine, but actively CREATE a different (better) future for our kids!
You might be surprised to learn that attempts at being "gender-neutral" can sometimes be femmephobic!
When Blue is Neutral, But Pink is Not…
Think about it: we dress girls in blue all the time and nobody blinks an eye. Blue is treated as a "neutral" colour that works for any child. But pink? Pink is seen as gendered — it's "for girls," and putting a boy in pink still raises eyebrows.
"But I do dress boys in pink!" — you might be thinking. And that's great! But consider: when we say we're being "gender-neutral," are we actually just neutralizing femininity?
The same pattern shows up in children's clothing, toys, and décor. "Gender-neutral" nurseries tend to feature greens, greys, and yellows — colours that lean away from pink, not toward it. The result? Femininity gets pushed to the margins while masculinity quietly takes up the "neutral" space.
Are We Just Neutralizing Femininity?
This pattern extends beyond colours. We can also see masculinity presented as gender-neutral when it comes to baby names.
Activity: Gender-Neutral Baby Names
Can you think of a few "gender-neutral" baby names? Write down a few that come to mind.
- What do you notice about the names you chose?
- Do they lean more masculine, more feminine, or truly "neutral"?
The "What to Expect" app suggests these gender-neutral baby names (see the full list: 25 Unisex Baby Names You'll Love — What to Expect):
Alex | James | Blake |
Kyle | Drew | Taylor |
Kennedy | Jordan | Parker |
Avery | Ryan | Brooklyn |
Cameron | Logan | Emerson |
Charlie | Ezra | Austin |
Notice anything? Many of these "gender-neutral" names are traditionally masculine names that have been adopted for use with girls — not the other way around. Names like James, Ryan, Austin, and Logan started as boys' names. But you'd be hard-pressed to find a list of "gender-neutral" names that includes Isabella, Sophia, or Charlotte.
Activity: Reflecting on Baby Names
What stands out for you about these proposed "gender-neutral" names?
- How do you see masculinity operating here?
- How "neutral" are these names, really?
- What would a truly gender-inclusive list of names look like?
If "gender-neutral" often ends up meaning "masculine," what does that mean for how we approach parenting? Let's take a closer look at what gender-neutral parenting actually looks like in practice — and where it might accidentally leave femininity behind.
© We Are Family, 2026
