One approach parents have tried is "gender-neutral" parenting — but does removing gender always mean removing limits?
What Is Gender-Neutral Parenting?
One way that parents and caregivers have attempted to minimize the negative effects of the gender binary and gender socialization on their kids is through what's called gender-neutral parenting.
This approach avoids restricting children's clothing, toys, and activities to the gender binary — for example, pink, ruffles, and dolls for girls; muted colours, blues, trucks, and toy weapons for boys.
The Limits of Gender-Neutral Parenting
In practice, however, this move to "gender-neutral" can be restrictive in its own way — limiting girls' feminine clothing, toys, and activities, and limiting those that are masculine for boys.
The intention is good: let kids be kids without rigid gender boxes. But when "neutral" really means removing the feminine and the masculine, it can end up creating a new set of limits rather than expanding possibilities.
Activities: Reflecting on Gender-Neutral Parenting
Activity: Reflecting on Gender-Neutral Parenting
How does this idea of gender-neutral parenting feel for you? What are some of the strengths of this approach? Some of the drawbacks?
- What feels right to you about gender-neutral parenting?
- What feels limiting or incomplete?
- Are there things you'd want to keep from this approach, and things you'd change?
Activity: Design Your Own Version
If you were to create your own version of "gender-neutral parenting," what would it look like?
- What values would guide your approach?
- How would you handle clothing, toys, and activities?
- Would your approach look different depending on your child's interests or personality?
Activity: Putting It Into Practice
Give some examples of things you would do (or try to do) as a parent or caregiver doing gender-neutral parenting.
- What would you hope to achieve — for you or for your kid(s) — with these practices?
- Would your practice change for a girl versus a boy? Why or why not?
Gender-neutral parenting is one approach — but is it enough? In the next section, we'll explore a concept that gets to the root of why gender norms are so hard to shake: femmephobia.
© We Are Family, 2026
