Another area where we can identify femmephobic gender messages is in sports, athletics, and extracurricular activities.
We've already told you about how children of all genders who participate in feminine activities experience less social acceptance and greater rejection. Let's examine some of those feminine activities and extracurriculars a little more closely.
The Gendering of Sports
The gender binary has a strong (sometimes invisible) hold on our thinking. As we have explored, the gender binary divides almost everything into masculine or feminine, even sports and athleticism.
And, of course, because the gender binary isn't just divided, the gendering of athleticism causes different athletics or sports to be seen as more or less authentic, difficult, and important.
The "Gendering" of Sports
Consider social responses to hockey versus figure skating. Hockey is seen as a masculine sport, whereas figure skating is seen as a feminine one. Hockey is seen as a "real sport," whereas figure skating is often treated like an honourary member of the sports category.
Thinking back to the "cool girl" trope and how women and girls can be a bit masculine and be rewarded for it, women and girls can also play hockey and be seen as "cool" or respected (though they might still experience misogyny and homophobia). But boys and men who figure skate are ridiculed and assumed to be gay.
To put it another way, hockey girls and figure skating boys both "transgress" the gender binary, but they don't necessarily experience the same social repercussions.
Feminized Athletics
Because of how society has intertwined masculinity and sports — especially how we think about athleticism in "masculine" ways (e.g., dominant, aggressive, competitive) — some feminine athletic feats aren't even considered athletics or sports.
Ballet, synchronized swimming, and dance are a few examples of this discounting of feminized athleticism.
Not only do we see masculinity and athleticism as one and the same, we see femininity as the "arch-enemy" of athleticism (e.g., weak, frail, submissive, incapable, etc.).
Activity: Femmephobia in Extracurriculars
Activity: Femmephobia in Extracurriculars
Take a moment and think about the extracurricular activities you participated in as a child, or that the children in your life participate in now.
- Where can you see femmephobia play out in these examples?
- Were certain activities seen as "lesser" because they were associated with femininity?
- Did you or your children ever feel pressure to choose a "tougher" or more masculine activity?
As we think about how femmephobia limits and restricts people in unfair ways, let's turn to media and the messages we are blasted with regularly about gender and gender expression.
© We Are Family, 2026
