People are complex and don't fit neatly into rigid gender "boxes" like the gender binary would like us to believe!
In fact, very few people fit into the gender binary's rigid boxes. Even people who "fit" can find themselves a bit cramped from time to time.
When people step outside of their assigned box, society responds in a way that makes sure they don't step too far. That response from society is almost like a "seal of approval" for the gender binary — it keeps the myth going that, for example, girls don't (and shouldn't!) like to play with trucks or climb trees, or boys don't (and shouldn't!) like to play with dolls or dance.
In reality, gender is (or at least can be) a beautiful tapestry of our own choosing.
Beyond the Binary
In fact, neither sex nor gender are binaries! Sex, which is assigned at birth, isn't a binary because children aren't just born with XY/male or XX/female chromosomes — some children are born with XXY chromosomes and are intersex (Fausto-Sterling, 1985).
Gender also isn't a binary because humans rarely fit neatly into boxes. Of course, some girls prefer feminine things, and some boys prefer masculine things (and that's okay!), but there are many ways to be "girls" or "boys" that exist outside and across the gender binary.
Gender Tapestry
Tapestry
A complex, intricate combination of things woven together.
Sometimes, this just means that a boy may like ballet or a girl may like playing football. Boys can be (and often are) feminine or enjoy feminine things, and girls can be (and often are) masculine and enjoy masculine things.
The idea of gender as a strict "either/or," a binary, just doesn't capture how creative and complicated kids (humans) are — so we shouldn't expect children to "colour inside the lines" or "stay in their box" — when the lines and the boxes were created FOR them, not WITH them.
Gender Creative
Sometimes, when children colour outside the metaphorical gender binary lines, they are called "gender creative." This means that a child may play across the gender binary, whether with femininity, masculinity, or both — but they are not necessarily transgender.
Transgender
A term used to describe a person who does not identify with the sex they were assigned at birth.
When children are born, they are assigned a sex (usually female/male) based on things like genitals or chromosomes — they are basically "assigned a group" (a box in the binary) at birth. But there are times when a person's identity (who they are inside) doesn't match the sex they were assigned.
For example, someone is assigned female at birth, but as they grow up, they begin to realize that they are not really a girl/woman — they recognize that they are a man. When this occurs, the person would be a transgender boy/man — their sex assigned at birth doesn't fit with who they are.
© We Are Family, 2026