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Introduction

Welcome & How to Use the Workbook

Hopes & Dreams

Congratulations, It's a...

Girl Toys vs. Boy Toys

Socializing Agents

Binary Thinking

Time Out for Terminology

Locating Ourselves

Let's Play A Game

Let's Play Dress Up

Gender Binary vs. Gender Tapestry

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 1)

Femmephobia

Looking Closer at Toxic Masculinity

Let's Think About Femininity

Feminine Stereotypes

Locating Our Beliefs

Situating Our Beliefs

Rules About Femininity

Femmephobia on the Playground

Tomboys, Girly Girls..

I'm Not Like Other Girls

Killing Barbie

Femmephobia & Sports

Femmephobia in the Media

Femmephobia in the Family

What Feminine Part of Yourself...

Benefits of Femininity?

When Blue is Neutral

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 2)

Femme-Conscious Parenting

When Femininity Feels Impractical

The Hidden Message

Practicing Femme-Conscious Parenting

Stopping Femmephobia

Imagining Femme-Positive Futures

Evaluation Survey

Glossary

Situating Our Beliefs
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Situating Our Beliefs

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Glossary

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There are a lot of beliefs, myths, or "rules" about femininity, masculinity, and gender. These myths can change depending on culture, historical time period, and belief systems.

The Colour Pink: A Case Study in Changing Beliefs

The colour pink is a great example of how myths and beliefs about femininity can change.

In most Western contemporary cultures, pink is connected to (or sometimes considered the same as) femininity and girliness. For many, it's almost unthinkable that pink could ever represent something other than supreme feminine girliness — let alone masculinity!

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Did you know that the idea that pink is "for girls" is only a blip on the historical radar? The connections we see today between pink and girls (and blue and boys) didn't actually begin until the early-mid 20th century (Steele, 2018).

Before this time, pink actually represented masculinity and manliness — like the blood-stained white linen of soldiers returning from war. Pink meant war, battle, strength, and masculinity — quite a difference from what we think about pink today!

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It's Not Just Pink

Pink isn't the only "feminine" thing that has changed over time.

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Did you know that high heels, wigs, and even makeup were once worn by men as a sign of their power, prestige, and masculinity? In fact, throughout history and across cultures, makeup has been worn to communicate power, status, and spirituality, too (Eldridge, 2015).

What This Means

All this to say, the way we think about femininity today isn't "innate," meaning it's not something we're born with. Rather, it's a product of culture, society, and history.

What this means is that we can decide what femininity and masculinity mean to us. We are not stuck with what the gender binary wants us to believe.

This also means that we can "undo" some of the harmful effects of the myths and rules of femininity. Learning they exist is the first step. What's next for you?

Row of illustrated soldiers in combat/action poses (peach/salmon tones on purple background), reinforcing the historical theme
Row of illustrated soldiers in combat/action poses (peach/salmon tones on purple background), reinforcing the historical theme
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Now that we know beliefs about femininity are shaped by culture and history — not biology — let's look more closely at the specific myths and "rules" about femininity that still circulate today.

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