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Parenting Workbook Home

Introduction

Welcome & How to Use the Workbook

Hopes & Dreams

Congratulations, It's a...

Girl Toys vs. Boy Toys

Socializing Agents

Binary Thinking

Time Out for Terminology

Locating Ourselves

Let's Play A Game

Let's Play Dress Up

Gender Binary vs. Gender Tapestry

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 1)

Femmephobia

Looking Closer at Toxic Masculinity

Let's Think About Femininity

Feminine Stereotypes

Locating Our Beliefs

Situating Our Beliefs

Rules About Femininity

Femmephobia on the Playground

Tomboys, Girly Girls..

I'm Not Like Other Girls

Killing Barbie

Femmephobia & Sports

Femmephobia in the Media

Femmephobia in the Family

What Feminine Part of Yourself...

Benefits of Femininity?

When Blue is Neutral

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 2)

Femme-Conscious Parenting

When Femininity Feels Impractical

The Hidden Message

Practicing Femme-Conscious Parenting

Stopping Femmephobia

Imagining Femme-Positive Futures

Evaluation Survey

Glossary

Playground Example 2

Example Situation

My 8-year-old daughter played on a coed soccer team and was one of the stronger players. The boys kept telling her she 'runs like a girl' and wouldn't pass to her during practice, even when she was open.

What was happening

Her gender was used to dismiss her athletic ability — the assumption being that feminine means less competent, even when the evidence was right in front of them.

Outcome for child

She became quieter during practices and eventually asked to switch to an all-girls team. She said it was 'just easier.' She lost confidence she didn't need to lose.

Thoughts & feelings

I wish I had intervened more directly with the coach. I kept hoping it would work itself out. It didn't.

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