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Parenting Workbook Home

Introduction

Welcome & How to Use the Workbook

Hopes & Dreams

Congratulations, It's a...

Girl Toys vs. Boy Toys

Socializing Agents

Binary Thinking

Time Out for Terminology

Locating Ourselves

Let's Play A Game

Let's Play Dress Up

Gender Binary vs. Gender Tapestry

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 1)

Femmephobia

Looking Closer at Toxic Masculinity

Let's Think About Femininity

Feminine Stereotypes

Locating Our Beliefs

Situating Our Beliefs

Rules About Femininity

Femmephobia on the Playground

Tomboys, Girly Girls..

I'm Not Like Other Girls

Killing Barbie

Femmephobia & Sports

Femmephobia in the Media

Femmephobia in the Family

What Feminine Part of Yourself...

Benefits of Femininity?

When Blue is Neutral

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 2)

Femme-Conscious Parenting

When Femininity Feels Impractical

The Hidden Message

Practicing Femme-Conscious Parenting

Stopping Femmephobia

Imagining Femme-Positive Futures

Evaluation Survey

Glossary

Why Do We Devalue Femininity?

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Why Do We Devalue Femininity? Sophie (student essay) BSN Voices — British School in the Netherlands

About This Post

A student's reflection on how phrases like "you're not like other girls" reveal deep-seated femmephobia that pressures children — especially tweens — to abandon feminine interests and identities in order to be seen as "cool" or "unique."

Key Takeaways

  • For parents: "You're not like other girls" is a femmephobic backhanded compliment — it elevates one girl by devaluing all others
  • Media consistently portrays feminine characters as shallow antagonists while celebrating tomboy heroines, teaching children that femininity is "dumb"
  • Boys face even harsher penalties for feminine expression — a masculine girl is a "tomboy," but a feminine boy is a "demotion"
  • The pressure to distance from femininity starts in the tween years and shapes children's sense of identity well into adulthood

Read the Full Post

Why Do We Devalue Femininity? — BSN Voices

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