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Girl Toys vs. Boy Toys

Socializing Agents

Binary Thinking

Time Out for Terminology

Locating Ourselves

Let's Play A Game

Let's Play Dress Up

Gender Binary vs. Gender Tapestry

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 1)

Femmephobia

Looking Closer at Toxic Masculinity

Let's Think About Femininity

Feminine Stereotypes

Locating Our Beliefs

Situating Our Beliefs

Rules About Femininity

Femmephobia on the Playground

Tomboys, Girly Girls..

I'm Not Like Other Girls

Killing Barbie

Femmephobia & Sports

Femmephobia in the Media

Femmephobia in the Family

What Feminine Part of Yourself...

Benefits of Femininity?

When Blue is Neutral

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 2)

Femme-Conscious Parenting

When Femininity Feels Impractical

The Hidden Message

Practicing Femme-Conscious Parenting

Stopping Femmephobia

Imagining Femme-Positive Futures

Evaluation Survey

Glossary

Gender behaviours as predictors of peer acceptance and victimization.

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Gender Behaviours as Predictors of Peer Acceptance and Victimization

Tyson C. Kreiger & Becky Kochenderfer-Ladd

Personal Relationships

Abstract

Children's peer relationships are important to their socioemotional and cognitive development; thus, understanding the determinants of such relationships is of ongoing interest. It was hypothesized that gender behaviors and affiliations would predict peer acceptance and victimization. Path analyses using data from 192 fourth graders showed that for both genders, engaging in feminine activities predicted less peer-reported acceptance and greater victimization, and engaging in masculine activities predicted greater peer acceptance. Affiliating with male peers was associated with greater peer-reported acceptance for both genders, and greater self-reported peer acceptance for boys. Indirect effects showed that the link between gender behaviors and victimization is mediated by peer acceptance. These findings support the contention that gender behaviors relate to the quality of children's relationships.

Summary for Parents

This study by Kreiger and Kochenderfer-Ladd examines how children's gender-typed behaviours and friendships predict whether they are accepted or bullied by their peers. Using data from 192 fourth graders (roughly ages 9–10), the researchers measured how often children engaged in activities culturally coded as "feminine" (e.g., playing with dolls, jumping rope, singing and dancing) or "masculine" (e.g., playing football, watching sports, skateboarding), and whether they primarily affiliated with male or female peers. The findings paint a clear — and troubling — picture: femininity is penalized in the peer group, regardless of a child's gender.

What is this study about?

The researchers wanted to understand whether the kinds of activities children engage in and the peers they spend time with predict two important social outcomes: peer acceptance (being liked and included) and peer victimization (being bullied or excluded). They used path analysis — a statistical method that traces chains of influence — to test whether gender behaviours directly predict victimization, or whether the relationship works indirectly through peer acceptance (i.e., feminine behaviours → lower acceptance → more victimization).

Children completed surveys about their own activities and friendships, while classmates provided ratings of each child's social standing and victimization experiences. This multi-informant design strengthens the findings by not relying solely on self-report.

Key findings

  • Feminine activities predicted lower peer acceptance and greater victimization — for both boys and girls. Children who frequently engaged in activities culturally coded as feminine (playing with dolls, jumping rope, cheerleading, making jewelry, singing and dancing) were rated as less accepted by their peers and experienced more bullying. This was true regardless of the child's own gender.
  • Masculine activities predicted greater peer acceptance — for both boys and girls. Children who engaged in activities culturally coded as masculine (playing sports, watching action movies, playing with Legos, skateboarding) were more socially accepted. Again, this held across genders.
  • Affiliating with male peers was linked to greater acceptance. Children who spent more time with boys were rated as more accepted by their classmates. For boys specifically, affiliating with male peers also predicted higher self-reported acceptance.
  • Peer acceptance mediated the link between gender behaviours and victimization. The relationship between engaging in feminine activities and being victimized was largely explained by the fact that feminine behaviours first led to lower peer acceptance, which in turn led to greater victimization. In other words, it wasn't just that "feminine" kids were targeted directly — they were first socially marginalized, and that marginalization made them more vulnerable to bullying.
  • The measures of "masculine" and "feminine" activities reflected cultural stereotypes of the time. The study used items such as playing with Barbies or making bracelets (feminine) and collecting sports cards or playing football (masculine). While these categories reflect the cultural context of the study, they highlight how narrowly defined gender expectations can have real social consequences for children.

Why does this matter for parenting?

  • Children who enjoy feminine activities face real social costs. This study shows that the peer group actively penalizes femininity. Boys who like to dance, sing, or play dress-up — and girls who gravitate toward these activities rather than sports — may face exclusion and bullying. Parents should be aware that their child's activity preferences can affect their social experiences at school.
  • The problem is the culture, not the child. The findings don't mean parents should steer children away from feminine activities. Rather, they reveal a cultural pattern in which femininity is devalued among children — the same pattern documented in adults. Understanding this can help parents validate their child's experiences and advocate for more inclusive school environments.
  • Peer acceptance is a protective buffer. Because acceptance mediates the path from gender behaviours to victimization, anything that supports a child's social inclusion — friendships, supportive teachers, inclusive classroom norms — can help protect children whose interests don't fit narrow gender expectations.
  • Both boys and girls are affected, but the stakes may be highest for feminine boys. While the penalty for femininity applied across genders, cultural norms tend to police boys' femininity more harshly. Parents of boys who enjoy feminine activities should be especially attentive to signs of social exclusion or bullying.
  • Talking about gender norms with children matters. These findings suggest that children are already enforcing rigid gender rules by fourth grade. Parents can help by naming what's happening — explaining that some kids get left out because of unfair ideas about what boys and girls "should" like — and by actively affirming that there is nothing wrong with any child's genuine interests.
  • Revaluing femininity starts at home. If feminine activities are treated as lesser in the household (e.g., sports are celebrated but dance is dismissed), children absorb that hierarchy and carry it into their peer interactions. Parents can push back by showing equal enthusiasm for all of their children's interests, regardless of how those interests are gendered by the culture.

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