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Parenting Workbook Home

Introduction

Welcome & How to Use the Workbook

Hopes & Dreams

Congratulations, It's a...

Girl Toys vs. Boy Toys

Socializing Agents

Binary Thinking

Time Out for Terminology

Locating Ourselves

Let's Play A Game

Let's Play Dress Up

Gender Binary vs. Gender Tapestry

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 1)

Femmephobia

Looking Closer at Toxic Masculinity

Let's Think About Femininity

Feminine Stereotypes

Locating Our Beliefs

Situating Our Beliefs

Rules About Femininity

Femmephobia on the Playground

Tomboys, Girly Girls..

I'm Not Like Other Girls

Killing Barbie

Femmephobia & Sports

Femmephobia in the Media

Femmephobia in the Family

What Feminine Part of Yourself...

Benefits of Femininity?

When Blue is Neutral

Gender Neutral Parenting (Part 2)

Femme-Conscious Parenting

When Femininity Feels Impractical

The Hidden Message

Practicing Femme-Conscious Parenting

Stopping Femmephobia

Imagining Femme-Positive Futures

Evaluation Survey

Glossary

Dear My Sweet Queer Family: Let's Combat Femmephobia

💡

Dear My Sweet Queer Family: Let's Combat Femmephobia July Westhale HuffPost (originally The Establishment)

About This Post

A personal essay from a fierce femme-identified queer writer exploring how femmephobia operates within LGBTQ+ communities. Westhale draws on femme history and the Femme Shark Manifesto to highlight how feminine-presenting people are marginalized even in queer spaces, and offers concrete dos and don'ts for being a better ally to femmes.

Key Takeaways

  • Femme ≠ feminine-presenting: Femme identity is a deeply layered political and gender identity — not defined by heels, makeup, or who you date
  • Femmephobia shows up in queer spaces as sexualization, fetishization, exclusion, and trivialization of feminine identities
  • The essay provides a practical Do / Don't list for being an ally to femmes and feminine-presenting people
  • Femme identity has a rich activist history — from pre-Stonewall resistance to community organizing and survival
  • For parents: Understanding femmephobia within LGBTQ+ communities can help parents better support children who may face these dynamics as they explore their identities

Read the Full Post

Dear My Sweet Queer Family: Let's Combat Femmephobia — HuffPost

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