Critically Feminizing Family Science: Using Femme Theory to Generate Novel Approaches for the Study of Families and Relationships

Abstract

How do values, beliefs, and assumptions about femininity shape relational experiences? To answer this question, we critically feminize family science by applying femme theory to the field. Through this analysis, we present some of the ways that femmephobia (i.e., the systematic devaluation and regulation of femininity across all bodies and identities) is established in childhood and perpetuated throughout various relational contexts across the life course. Specifically, we examine how femmephobia is socialized via families, systematically normalized and perpetuated throughout childhood, and how it shapes gender-based violence risk, perpetration, and tactics. We demonstrate how femme theory illuminates the importance of disentangling the intersectional axes of gender, sexuality, and gender expression, thereby generating novel approaches for family and relationship science and interventions that promote systemic social change. Subordinating and regulating femininity affects all individuals, making its disruption of critical importance for the prevention of gender-based violence and the promotion of healthy families and relationships.

Summary for Parents

This article makes a compelling case that the way we think about femininity in families matters — a lot. Here's what parents should know:

What is this article about?

Researchers Hoskin and Serafini apply "femme theory" — a framework for understanding how society treats femininity — to the study of families and relationships. Their central argument is that femmephobia (the devaluation and regulation of femininity) starts in childhood and is largely learned through family life.

Key findings and ideas

• Families are where femmephobia begins. Children learn very early that feminine traits, interests, and behaviours are worth less than masculine ones. This message is communicated through the toys we buy, the activities we encourage, the language we use, and how we react when children cross gender boundaries.
• The rules are stricter for boys. While girls who are "tomboys" are generally accepted or even celebrated, boys who show feminine interests (playing with dolls, wearing pink, expressing emotions) face much harsher policing — from peers, parents, and society at large.
• Femmephobia affects everyone, not just girls or women. Because it targets femininity rather than a specific gender, it harms boys who are told to suppress emotions, LGBTQ+ youth whose gender expression doesn't fit expectations, and girls who are devalued for being feminine.
• There's a direct link to gender-based violence. The article argues that the devaluation of femininity is a root cause of many forms of violence — from schoolyard bullying to intimate partner violence. When femininity is treated as inferior, people who are perceived as feminine become easier targets.
• Gender expression needs to be understood separately from gender and sexuality. A boy who likes ballet isn't necessarily gay. A girl who likes trucks isn't necessarily trans. The article urges researchers and families alike to stop conflating these dimensions.

Why does this matter for parenting?

This research suggests that one of the most powerful things parents can do is examine their own assumptions about femininity — and actively work to value feminine traits, interests, and expressions in all of their children, regardless of gender. This isn't just about being inclusive; the authors argue it's a critical piece of preventing gender-based violence and promoting healthier relationships across the lifespan.

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